Young Salvationist finds release from the pain of depression
By: Major Frank Duracher
Despite the misleading title song of the popular television show and movie, M*A*S*H, Barcey Godwin came to the realization one night that suicide is not painless. As he lay in bed that evening, a revelation came to him directly from God, and it was the turning point in his life.
Barcey was in a dark place, by his own admission: “My childhood wasn’t the best in the world. I suffered from terrible depression.”
He was in so much pain, from time to time he considered ending it all. He came closest to death when at the nick of time, God spoke words of life to his heart.
“I thought about my mom, and how (my suicide) would destroy her,” Barcey said. “It was where I heard the voice of God for the first time in my Christian walk—telling me that life is worth living!”
The devil’s lie is that suicide is a painless way out; that no one is hurt, and your pain finally ends. But like a light switch suddenly turned on, Barcey heard from God that his mother, most of all, would suffer unbearably. He could not bear that thought. Barcey also realized that God has a wonderful plan for his life, regardless of his past.
“Over a hundred years ago, the Irish playwright, Oscar Wilde, wrote: ‘Every sinner has a future; every saint has a past,’” Barcey testifies, likening his story to that of the apostle Paul.
“When God saved me, in December 2013, I’d been praying often for God to send an angel to deliver me from the suffering of depression,” he said. “And as I laid there in my own suffering, He did send an angel — several angels, in the form of police officers who helped save my life, as well as guidance counselors, special friends, and Salvation Army Officers.”
Likening his conversion to that of Saul in the early chapters of Acts, Barcey concludes that “Christ got Saul’s attention on the road to Damascus, and he got my attention that night as I laid on what was nearly my deathbed, and He spoke life to me.”
“People in my life who remembers who I used to be, have a problem believing who I’ve become,” he said.
“I was Barcey, who had no future. I was Barcey, who had a horrid past. I was Barcey, who did not know the Lord. I was Barcey, who was living in sin,” he said. “But the truth is that this is the story for most people. That is the Barcey before Christ. Now that I am Barcey, with Christ, I have an unlimited future.”
No one, least of all Saul, could have anticipated what Paul later became.
“God had a plan for Paul, and He has a plan for me,” said Barcey. “We don’t have to live in our past, but we can revel in the future God has prepared for us.”