By: Lt. Chelsea Fleeman

If I thought setting up my own Wi-Fi was intimidating, I was not prepared for the next challenge – having actual responsibilities. I've had responsibilities in the past of course. I've been in charge of things, I've had to lead people before. But those times were always temporary – my job had a start and end date. And even if I messed up, there was someone else more senior and more responsible than me.

I guess in a way being an assistant corps officer has the same safety net – I do have two wonderful leaders who are more experienced than I am. They already have provided support, encouragement, and knowledge to me that I am so incredibly grateful for. Even so, it's overwhelming to realize that I'm in my corps. The people sitting in the pews are my congregation. The neighborhoods surrounding the corps are my ministry community.

I don't say that selfishly, but in complete humility. It's even a little bit scary. What if I'm actually not a good leader? What if I get too focused on myself and end up neglecting to help someone spiritually? What if someone comes to me with a question that I can't answer? What if people see my life and don't want to get to know Christ – as all the books and conferences have said they would?

But do you see the pattern in my questions? They are focused on me. They are selfish. It's a humbling experience to be in charge, but there's always the propensity to become too focused on how I am as a physical vessel of Christ, rather than focusing on how God is actually using me.

Does that makes sense? I hope so. I hope that in my ministry I never get too busy worrying about how people perceive me. I hope I can always be the light and hope and comfort that people need – the light and hope and comfort that only comes through God working through me.

The problem with responsibility is that it tends to make us self-focused. However, God did not call me to worry about how good of an officer I am. He simply called me. Then he asked me to serve Him to the best of my ability. And if that is not a humbling responsibility, I don't know what is.